29 RECORDS FOUND
"A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen."
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
"If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest."
"No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish."
"Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil."
"Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience."
"Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune."
"Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it."
"Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on."
"When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing, ' it's the money."
"It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you."
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."
"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them."
"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
"The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store."
"Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home."
"It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed."
"It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed."
"I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans."
"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."
"As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith."
"After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school."
"Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family."
"There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose."
"Don't knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."
"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."
"We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate."
"No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech."
